Two Faces

I have to say, my experiences of men in Cairo are striking in comparison. Usually I avoid them as much as possible when I'm off campus. I don't make eye contact, ask women if I have a question, and so on. Of course, men are everywhere and the only way to really avoid them is to stay home. That being impractical, here are my experiences:

The men here are chivalrous. They hold open doors, help when I'm carrying things, let me in the elevator first, and so on. Sometimes I ride the coed car in the Metro, although I usually stick to the women's cars (2 of them). However, sometimes the train arrives just as I walk through the turnstile and I don't have time to walk down the platform to the women's car, so I jump on a coed one. The first thing I typically notice is that men are smellier than women.

While riding the Metro, the men are usually respectful. If I'm standing, I get a little bubble of personal space, and the men give up the prime places against a door or wall. Sometimes they even give up their seat for me, which I never refuse. Sometimes the women's car gets so crowded, I feel like I can't breathe - it's my first true experience of feeling the panic of claustrophobia. The men, on the otherhand, will crowd against each other but try to preserve space around me so there is no inappropriate touching.

That's the nice part of the men here.

On the opposite end of men's behavior, I have been more harassed here than ever in my life. Policemen whistle, men of all ages (even boys!) make derogatory comments when I walk by. It's in Arabic, so they don't think I understand. I've been touched inappropriately by a taxi driver and twice by men on the platform of the Metro. They are very sneaky about it. In the driver's case, he pretended it was an accident. On the platform, it was so crowded or some boys were running by so fast it took me a second to register that my rear had been touched - and they've disappeared. I don't even have anyone to yell at (like I did the driver). I don't consider myself especially attractive, and I dress modestly. I have to constantly tell myself that nothing I'm doing encourages such behavior.

It seems the only way to avoid harassment is to wear niqab, completely veiled except for the eyes. Even women with higab, or regular scarves, get comments.

Portland and Cairo are different worlds.