What I Deserve

I've been thinking lately about what I deserve, especially when it comes to dating. People who know me will say things like, "You deserve so much more than [blank]." The blank is filled in with a variety of problems that are common in our society (many of the single men I know are divorced, have kids, or used to live with a girlfriend). They say this to me because I've led a pretty clean life, by the world's standards: I'm not divorced, I don't smoke, I've not done anything that I'm ashamed of with past boyfriends, and so on.

But why should I deserve anything? Why have I let myself be deceived into thinking I have to be worthy of someone, or vice versa?

Perhaps the fundamental tenet of my beliefs is that God is holy, and humans are sinful. That means no matter the sin, we're separated from God. Sin cannot be in his presence. However, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, God has made a way for us to be pure; to be in his presence. He promises that if we confess and repent, he will cleanse us from all our sin.

I've been pondering this. I believe it regarding people's individual relationships with God. The murderer receives just as much grace as the liar. But how does that change my relationship with them? If someone has become a child of God, their sins wiped away, how should I view him or her? Should I allow the murderer in my home and take the liar at his word?

The short answer is: yes. If that person is pure before God, who am I to judge?

But the Bible gives some guidance. If someone claims to be a child of God, there is evidence for which to look. This person's life should show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control. Confession and repentance before God are essential, and if a person is serious, God will start developing this evidence in his or her life. That person and I are the same in God's eyes, siblings in the Lord's family with a parent who shows no favoritism.

So back to the original question: What do I deserve?

It's the wrong question. I deserve nothing, just as the greatest criminal deserves nothing. I am a child of God. He loves me, he has all the resources in the universe at his disposal, and he only wants what is best for me. What has an infant done to deserve a parent's love? God loves me even more than a mother loves her new child. If God chooses to bless me with someone the world might term "undeserving", should I doubt him? Who knows best - God or our culture? I guess this could all be an excercise in trust. Yes, I believe that however God works in my life, it is best.