I was talking to a friend a few months ago about finances. I asked him if he tithes and he responded negatively, saying that he regularly purchases food for the homeless and doesn't feel the need to tithe. (For those of you wondering, my definition of "tithe" is to give 10% of your earnings to the church you attend). He asked me if I tithe, which I do, and then he proceeded to speculate that because I don't earn very much, the amount I give is smaller and I must not notice it. I was surprised he would think that just because I make it a habit and don't earn much, I wouldn't notice. Every paycheck I am aware that 10% is not mine to spend. And I really notice it when I have to choose between things like new brakes or a visit to the dentist.
This is not the only friend I have that doesn't give to the church on a regular basis. It surprises me that these friends, who are dear, loving, and true believers, don't tithe. They are not alone; many people who attend church don't tithe. I suppose I'm surprised that something so basic in understanding who we are in Christ is not followed. The Bible clearly teaches that God will bless us when we give. This doesn't mean that God is some supernatural mutual fund, but he clearly rewards those who store treasure in heaven rather than on earth.
For me, tithing is an act of trust and obedience. I don't earn enough money to do everything the financial advice books tell me about and I get frustrated reading them. But if I were to keep my 10% and pay off my debt or do something equally good, it would be like telling God, "I know better what to do with my money than you do". This attitude is unbiblical and reveals a deep distrust of the Lord. Jesus teaches that God the Father cares more about his children than anything in nature, and the birds of the air always eat and the lilies of the field are beautifully dressed.
This whole issue brings up another question: Does money master me or do I master money? If money is my master, that means God is not in his proper position. This is unacceptable. If I cannot surrender every part of my life, including my checking account, to the Lord, then I am in rebellion. I am also a liar, as I say that I trust/love/obey God and yet keep control of this one area.
I also think that the church doesn't talk enough about finances. Why do we feel free to tell people what to do in culturally accepted moral issues (forgiveness, loving others, etc), but so many pastors and others feel that finances are a "private" issue? The benefits of living debt-free are innumerous and the reasons are biblical. It seems we have let the culture hijack the responsibility of teaching personal responsibility regarding finances. The only thing our culture seems to be good at is telling us how to spend money - I especially like the "use this credit card and x amount will be put in a savings account". What kind of logic is that?
I also need to make some disclaimers - I work for a church. My job is made more difficult when there isn't money to spend in order to accomplish my tasks. Also, I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty or writing with any particular person in mind. So if you happen to know me and don't tithe, please don't think I'm talking about you - this is a general musing and you are not my target.
Three years ago I created my own 3-phase "debt-free fast plan". This month I hit a milestone by paying off all my credit card debt. What a great feeling! Phase 2 is now half-way done, and scheduled to be completed by the end of the year, give or take a month. And I continue to tithe, remembering the times that God blessed and provided for me, and knowing that he will continue to do so.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Driving Without Escape
For months, I've been hearing a knocking sound in the rear of my car when I brake, so in July I took it in for a quote. Since July, the knocking went away, only to be replaced by a distinct grinding sound. When I took the car in on Friday (yes, over 2 months since the quote), I was told that I need something else to be replaced as well. I trust this mechanic and let him do the work.
Since the car has a standard transmission, I've been making a conscious effort to downshift rather than brake. When I picked up my car Friday after work, I drove down the street with the radio off and the windows down, testing the new brakes. There was no grinding, knocking, or other unhealthy sounds. For a while I thought the mechanic did a bad job because the brakes didn't feel quite right. Downshifting has become such a habit, that four days later, I still feel weird braking. It feels even stranger to brake and not hear further deterioration and to not feel guilty about putting off the work for so long.
This little experience in car maintainence started me thinking about escape mechanisms we all use. For me, downshifting was an alternative, or escape, from using of my brakes. Using the brakes was necessary, but because I did not give them proper attention, they became hazardous and less effective than they should be.
So here's the analogy: Using brakes is like facing real life. It is necessary for us to have the tools to deal with problems rather than avoid them. Downshifting to escape using the brakes works to some extent, but I still need the brakes in order to stop completely.
We live in an escapist culture. The obsession with media is an easy place to start. When we go to a movie or pick up a novel or watch 24, we allow ourselves to become absorbed in a fictional world. We would rather watch TV than spend time cultivating relationships. The number of people with addiction problems in our culture is staggering, and it's because people don't know how to cope with life. They need the mind-altering effects of alcohol or drugs to deaden them. How many of our children are on behavioral medications? Sometimes it seems that parents would rather medicate kids because it's an easy way to produce desired behavior. In facts, drugs have become an escape for all sorts of problems from fighting pain to sexual disfunction to growing hair. Why does our society need to escape?
This need is overwhelming. What is wrong with going bald? Like painkillers (and the ensuing addictions), it feels like society wants to treat symptoms rather than address underlying issues. Maybe part of the reason is that the real causes of pain expose our helplessness. If we can control the symptom, there's no need to acknowledge that we can't control the disease. If we can escape from working through relationships, whether by divorce or other means, we can excuse our shortcomings by blaming each other.
Thinking about this can be a downer. But honestly, it makes me more thankful that I follow Jesus, who has authority over all things. I've been reading the book of Mark for a class, and I am struck by how many times Jesus demonstrates authority over everything: sickness, death, demons, and sin. Here's an example:
Escape isn't always bad. I enjoy movies and TV (I'm currently a West Wing addict). Vacations are very helpful to rest and reenergize. People I know have legitimate needs for anti-depressants and other medications. But there is such a thing as too much. If I never got new brakes, I'd be in a lot of trouble. The escape of downshifting only works for a little while and was not worth the anxiety caused by not having decent brakes. And the fact that I grew so comfortable with my escape mechanism is alarming - the solution felt abnormal, the escape had become preferable. And that's the problem.
I have more thoughts on this subject... perhaps I'll post more or edit later.
Since the car has a standard transmission, I've been making a conscious effort to downshift rather than brake. When I picked up my car Friday after work, I drove down the street with the radio off and the windows down, testing the new brakes. There was no grinding, knocking, or other unhealthy sounds. For a while I thought the mechanic did a bad job because the brakes didn't feel quite right. Downshifting has become such a habit, that four days later, I still feel weird braking. It feels even stranger to brake and not hear further deterioration and to not feel guilty about putting off the work for so long.
This little experience in car maintainence started me thinking about escape mechanisms we all use. For me, downshifting was an alternative, or escape, from using of my brakes. Using the brakes was necessary, but because I did not give them proper attention, they became hazardous and less effective than they should be.
So here's the analogy: Using brakes is like facing real life. It is necessary for us to have the tools to deal with problems rather than avoid them. Downshifting to escape using the brakes works to some extent, but I still need the brakes in order to stop completely.
We live in an escapist culture. The obsession with media is an easy place to start. When we go to a movie or pick up a novel or watch 24, we allow ourselves to become absorbed in a fictional world. We would rather watch TV than spend time cultivating relationships. The number of people with addiction problems in our culture is staggering, and it's because people don't know how to cope with life. They need the mind-altering effects of alcohol or drugs to deaden them. How many of our children are on behavioral medications? Sometimes it seems that parents would rather medicate kids because it's an easy way to produce desired behavior. In facts, drugs have become an escape for all sorts of problems from fighting pain to sexual disfunction to growing hair. Why does our society need to escape?
This need is overwhelming. What is wrong with going bald? Like painkillers (and the ensuing addictions), it feels like society wants to treat symptoms rather than address underlying issues. Maybe part of the reason is that the real causes of pain expose our helplessness. If we can control the symptom, there's no need to acknowledge that we can't control the disease. If we can escape from working through relationships, whether by divorce or other means, we can excuse our shortcomings by blaming each other.
Thinking about this can be a downer. But honestly, it makes me more thankful that I follow Jesus, who has authority over all things. I've been reading the book of Mark for a class, and I am struck by how many times Jesus demonstrates authority over everything: sickness, death, demons, and sin. Here's an example:
Jesus says, "Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . ." He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!" (Mark 2: 9-12)Jesus can forgive our sin. I think if I were faced with the reality of life without forgiveness I would choose escape. Anything to keep my mind off the hopelessness and lack of purpose in life. But Jesus gives life to the death in which humanity is trapped. Perhaps this is the ultimate escape that the world tries to counterfeit.
Escape isn't always bad. I enjoy movies and TV (I'm currently a West Wing addict). Vacations are very helpful to rest and reenergize. People I know have legitimate needs for anti-depressants and other medications. But there is such a thing as too much. If I never got new brakes, I'd be in a lot of trouble. The escape of downshifting only works for a little while and was not worth the anxiety caused by not having decent brakes. And the fact that I grew so comfortable with my escape mechanism is alarming - the solution felt abnormal, the escape had become preferable. And that's the problem.
I have more thoughts on this subject... perhaps I'll post more or edit later.
Monday, September 18, 2006
The Weapon by My Bed
(Originally posted 8/18/06 on another site)
Earlier this summer I was over at my parents' house. My dad was getting ready to go target shooting and invited me along; I was bored, so I went. Now you have to understand, my dad is a bow hunter. This means he has a compound bow and a hundred accessories (including a tool to fletch arrows i.e., re-feather them). Before we left the house, my dad had me try to pull the bow so that I could shoot a little. He laughed at me when I couldn't do it then he told me it is 68 pounds to pull back. I told him I'm a girl and proud of it. When we arrived at the gallery, Dad rented me a bow. It was only a 35 pound pull, but gosh-darn it, I hit the target. Dad reassured me that I was doing well, and I couldn't take down an elk, but I could kill a deer. Or a human.
Later in the summer, I went with Dad and Bryan, my brother-in-law, to the Washington Park outdoor range. They like to go there because, well, it's outside, and also because they can shoot from a variety of distances. I was bored sitting around, so I asked Dad if I could shoot his bow. I held the bow, and he helped me pull it back (because of the way compound bows are made, it takes less strength to hold it at full-draw than it does to pull it back). He backed off so I could release, and boy, that bow is powerful. I could barely control it enough to get the arrow in the hay bale.
It wasn't until I held my dad's bow at full draw that I really recognized the power of that particular weapon. It reminded me of the times we'd gone firearm shooting. Every time I hold a handgun, I'm in awe of and intimidated by the power contained in that device. The damage I could do from a flick of my finger with both weapons is daunting.
These thoughts about weapons got me to thinking about a verse in the Bible that reads, "For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires." Other translations call it a sword instead of a knife, but regardless of word choice, the Bible is definitely comparing the word of God to a weapon. Since the sword/knife was the weapon of the day when this was written, I suppose we could say that the Bible is more powerful than the highest caliber rifle, or more penetrating than the fastest arrow, and keep the essence of the verse.
The more I thought about this, the more I realized that I don't treat the Bible as a powerful weapon. I let it sit by my bed, inanimate unless I'm reading. I don't lock it up to keep it away from children and irresponsible adults; I don't take it apart and store the sections separately to prevent accidents. That would be silly. The power of the Bible is not in its physical manifestation, but the impact it has on our inner lives. That verse concludes with, "It exposes us for what we really are."
The Bible is a weapon that destroys lives to renew them. It's a paradox. The Bible cuts through our pretense to expose who we really are: selfish people living for ourselves, wrapped up in our pride, trying to look good. It destroys everything we create for ourselves. A weapon that kills.
However.
The thing it destroys, sin, is worthy of destruction. Another part of the Bible comes to mind: "And Christ died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
The Bible cuts deeply. If you have experienced spiritual conviction you know what I mean. It hurts when pride is destroyed and you realize your depth of selfishness; especially when, like me, you've lived an entire life as a "good" Christian. But like the passage above, the Bible not only cuts, it heals. Without the pain of sin being excised, there is no reconciliation with God, or with each other.
"Living power" is what that first verse calls the strength in this weapon called the word of God. So lying by my bed, a simple object, there is no power in it. The power happens when I know what is written. For me, that means memorizing it. I have found no better way to experience the word of God in my life than to meditate and memorize parts of it. If you want to experience this power in your life, give it a try. I suggest starting with Matthew 5, the teachings of Jesus.
Earlier this summer I was over at my parents' house. My dad was getting ready to go target shooting and invited me along; I was bored, so I went. Now you have to understand, my dad is a bow hunter. This means he has a compound bow and a hundred accessories (including a tool to fletch arrows i.e., re-feather them). Before we left the house, my dad had me try to pull the bow so that I could shoot a little. He laughed at me when I couldn't do it then he told me it is 68 pounds to pull back. I told him I'm a girl and proud of it. When we arrived at the gallery, Dad rented me a bow. It was only a 35 pound pull, but gosh-darn it, I hit the target. Dad reassured me that I was doing well, and I couldn't take down an elk, but I could kill a deer. Or a human.
Later in the summer, I went with Dad and Bryan, my brother-in-law, to the Washington Park outdoor range. They like to go there because, well, it's outside, and also because they can shoot from a variety of distances. I was bored sitting around, so I asked Dad if I could shoot his bow. I held the bow, and he helped me pull it back (because of the way compound bows are made, it takes less strength to hold it at full-draw than it does to pull it back). He backed off so I could release, and boy, that bow is powerful. I could barely control it enough to get the arrow in the hay bale.
It wasn't until I held my dad's bow at full draw that I really recognized the power of that particular weapon. It reminded me of the times we'd gone firearm shooting. Every time I hold a handgun, I'm in awe of and intimidated by the power contained in that device. The damage I could do from a flick of my finger with both weapons is daunting.
These thoughts about weapons got me to thinking about a verse in the Bible that reads, "For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires." Other translations call it a sword instead of a knife, but regardless of word choice, the Bible is definitely comparing the word of God to a weapon. Since the sword/knife was the weapon of the day when this was written, I suppose we could say that the Bible is more powerful than the highest caliber rifle, or more penetrating than the fastest arrow, and keep the essence of the verse.
The more I thought about this, the more I realized that I don't treat the Bible as a powerful weapon. I let it sit by my bed, inanimate unless I'm reading. I don't lock it up to keep it away from children and irresponsible adults; I don't take it apart and store the sections separately to prevent accidents. That would be silly. The power of the Bible is not in its physical manifestation, but the impact it has on our inner lives. That verse concludes with, "It exposes us for what we really are."
The Bible is a weapon that destroys lives to renew them. It's a paradox. The Bible cuts through our pretense to expose who we really are: selfish people living for ourselves, wrapped up in our pride, trying to look good. It destroys everything we create for ourselves. A weapon that kills.
However.
The thing it destroys, sin, is worthy of destruction. Another part of the Bible comes to mind: "And Christ died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
The Bible cuts deeply. If you have experienced spiritual conviction you know what I mean. It hurts when pride is destroyed and you realize your depth of selfishness; especially when, like me, you've lived an entire life as a "good" Christian. But like the passage above, the Bible not only cuts, it heals. Without the pain of sin being excised, there is no reconciliation with God, or with each other.
"Living power" is what that first verse calls the strength in this weapon called the word of God. So lying by my bed, a simple object, there is no power in it. The power happens when I know what is written. For me, that means memorizing it. I have found no better way to experience the word of God in my life than to meditate and memorize parts of it. If you want to experience this power in your life, give it a try. I suggest starting with Matthew 5, the teachings of Jesus.
Conflict and Resolution
(Originally posted 8/6/06 on a different site)
I just finished a book called The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. I started it because some people I respect recommended it, and I have to admit, it has drastically changed the way I view conflict.
The first point the book make is that conflict is not bad. Rather, it offers opportunity for growth, change, and greater intimacy and understanding in relationships. I hadn't really thought of conflict that way, but it totally makes sense.
I suspect I'll be reading and referring to this book in the future (after I get it back from my sister), but the main things I took away the first time around are as follow:
One - the Golden Result, which is related to the Golden Rule. The way we treat others is the way they will treat us. So, if I approach someone with preconcieved ideas of who they are and why they act the way they do, they will approach me the same way. It is so much better to love people and act lovingly towards them. Conflict is easier resolved when the parties don't feel judged or defensive.
Two - conflict begins in the heart. There is an entire chapter on this one. It talks about how conflict begins with a desire. This desire can be something overtly wrong (I want to hurt someone), but it can also be wanting a good thing (peaceful home). The conflict starts when the desire turns into a demand. When I start thinking or saying, "I can't be happy without ______", the desire has turned into an idol and all my energies are spent meeting that demand. The next step is judgement. When others can't meet our demands, we'll criticize and condemn them with our thoughts, if not words. The final step is punishment, whether it is withholding affection, lashing out in anger, or even leaving a relationship.
This sounds like a self-help book by my summary, but it's really not. It points out how living for others and pursuing peace is really counter-cultural, no matter which nationality a person is. Because of sin, humans are selfish. As I try to be more like Jesus, I realize how incredibly selfish I am. My desires that turn to demands are the hardest to spot - I want good things too much. I'm learning to let God give me the gifts that he wants to bless me with and stop trying to get them like a child searching for Christmas presents in August.
I recently had a conversation with someone who had hurt me. I was ready to tell this person how I had been hurt and how a situation made me feel and why that person was wrong to do what he/she did. Praise the Lord, I was influenced through this book and was able to discuss the conflict but keep our friendship. I'm so glad.
I just finished a book called The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. I started it because some people I respect recommended it, and I have to admit, it has drastically changed the way I view conflict.
The first point the book make is that conflict is not bad. Rather, it offers opportunity for growth, change, and greater intimacy and understanding in relationships. I hadn't really thought of conflict that way, but it totally makes sense.
I suspect I'll be reading and referring to this book in the future (after I get it back from my sister), but the main things I took away the first time around are as follow:
One - the Golden Result, which is related to the Golden Rule. The way we treat others is the way they will treat us. So, if I approach someone with preconcieved ideas of who they are and why they act the way they do, they will approach me the same way. It is so much better to love people and act lovingly towards them. Conflict is easier resolved when the parties don't feel judged or defensive.
Two - conflict begins in the heart. There is an entire chapter on this one. It talks about how conflict begins with a desire. This desire can be something overtly wrong (I want to hurt someone), but it can also be wanting a good thing (peaceful home). The conflict starts when the desire turns into a demand. When I start thinking or saying, "I can't be happy without ______", the desire has turned into an idol and all my energies are spent meeting that demand. The next step is judgement. When others can't meet our demands, we'll criticize and condemn them with our thoughts, if not words. The final step is punishment, whether it is withholding affection, lashing out in anger, or even leaving a relationship.
This sounds like a self-help book by my summary, but it's really not. It points out how living for others and pursuing peace is really counter-cultural, no matter which nationality a person is. Because of sin, humans are selfish. As I try to be more like Jesus, I realize how incredibly selfish I am. My desires that turn to demands are the hardest to spot - I want good things too much. I'm learning to let God give me the gifts that he wants to bless me with and stop trying to get them like a child searching for Christmas presents in August.
I recently had a conversation with someone who had hurt me. I was ready to tell this person how I had been hurt and how a situation made me feel and why that person was wrong to do what he/she did. Praise the Lord, I was influenced through this book and was able to discuss the conflict but keep our friendship. I'm so glad.
Ken Lay... RIP?
My friend Scott wrote about the death of Kenneth Lay, former Enron executive. His post is thoughtful and thought-provoking, however, I can't help but wonder... Is Ken Lay really dead?
Think about it: is there a more likely candidate to fake his own death? And since he died before sentencing, is his estate safe from paying for his crimes? This could be a very elaborate scheme, complete with a wax body for the wake, or just a closed-casket funeral. How many coroners would be willing to take a couple hundred thousand to create a death certificate?
If his wife suddenly decides the Texas house just isn't home without Ken, packs up and moves to the Cayman Islands, I'll be very suspicious...
Think about it: is there a more likely candidate to fake his own death? And since he died before sentencing, is his estate safe from paying for his crimes? This could be a very elaborate scheme, complete with a wax body for the wake, or just a closed-casket funeral. How many coroners would be willing to take a couple hundred thousand to create a death certificate?
If his wife suddenly decides the Texas house just isn't home without Ken, packs up and moves to the Cayman Islands, I'll be very suspicious...
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