Invitation to a Beheading

I just finished reading Invitation to a Beaheading by Vladimir Nabokov for my book club. What a strange story! Here's the quick summary: The main character, Cincinnatus C., is jailed and sentenced to be beheaded. His crime is that he's different from everyone else. The entire story is surreal; the officials are strangely polite, his fellow prisoner is intent on being friends, the clock on the wall has painted hands that the official repaints every hour, there are several out of body experiences and so on.

Cincinnatus is convinced that he sees things the way they really are, but no one else in the story listens to him. They are so wrapped up in the make-believe world that to question the perceived reality is equal to a death sentence; Cincinnatus is the perfect example. Eventually, it is not even worth his energy to keep fighting the facade; he just turns in on himself, hopeless, awaiting execution. The strangest part is, everyone else is preoccupied with politeness and form - they are very solicitous of Cincinnatus and expect the same consideration in return.

The comment on our society is striking. So often we are concerned with how we do things that the purpose behind the actual task or relationship or whatever is forgotten. In the story, the executioner is concerned about making Cincinnatus feel good about his execution. Cincinnatus is expected to be gracious and "play his part" to make the production a success. Isn't that what we do all the time? If someone hurts me, it is easier to cover up my feelings and show the world that I'm okay and I'm expected to "play along" with a casual apology.

This is why I love following Jesus. He doesn't want me to be fake and chastises me when I am. There is no room in Christian living for a spiritual facade. There's a word for that - hypocrisy. One of the hardest parts of following Jesus is getting past the lies I tell myself. Things like "it's okay to lie about what I think in order to avoid offending someone" or "It's okay to smile and nod at church for 3 hours and never really connect with another person". I decided several years ago that I need to live a transparent life, meaning this: If I don't open up to people about how I feel and what is important to me, they can't care for me. I want people to care about me. And I've found that when they care about me, it is natural for me to respond in kind. So following the example of Jesus, I try to make relationships, even messy or inconvenient ones, a priority. Since I'm an introvert, I'm not very good at it!

Invitation to a Beheading ends with Cincinnatus lying on the executioner block when his world starts fading away - literally growing smaller and smaller until people are a mere nuisance and the ax has no ability to chop. He hears voices of "people like him" and he stands up, walking toward them. I suppose that's what we each have to do: refuse to play along with the facade until it fades away. What's left is the truth: people like us.